searching for myself

bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 

assalamualaikum.

I don't feel like myself.

This is not me. This is not how I'm supposed to turn out.

procrastination at its best.

I submit conference paper yesterday which is due a week ago.

I didn't go for car service until lockdown strike.

I don't feel doing anything. 

many asked 'Farhana okay tak?'

my answer will be 'okay je'

but deep inside I'm not and I don't how how to express it. I feel like nobody understand me. not even my bestfriend, not even my family, not even my supervisor. 

This morning I woke up to this video and banjir. haha. I guess I didn't find anyone that I willing to share with. yet. 

Farhana ada lagi berapa sem?

boleh bawak gaduh kalau orang tanya soalan ni. Yes I know tak semua orang tahu and faham how research postgraduate study goes, but I don't know how to control perasaan nak marah ni everytime orang tanya. I really don't 

till then.

p/s harap next post will not be as 'dark' as this post